If conservatives don’t want to be seen as bitter people who cling to their guns and religion and anti-immigrant sentiments, they should stop being bitter and clinging to their guns, religion and anti-immigrant sentiments.
The only sport I really get into is snowboarding. Cause that’s the only sport where they perform a half pipe just after smoking a full pipe.
The country can’t get well if the people are sick. And the people are sick.
Kids. They’re not easy, but there has to be some penalty for having sex.
Do you think it’s possible that when we’re on something like marijuana or mushrooms and we believe we’re having a really spiritual experience that we’re just high?
There’s more than one mosque in the world that used to be a church and before that was a temple. Because it’s a lot easier to just change the sign on the top and say under new management than it is to change the whole building.
The other guys are selling certainty. Not me. I’m on the corner with doubt.
We’ve been on a long break and I’ve just been kicking back, doing nothing. Like our government.
A new biography of Madonna came out last week, and apparently the biography lists all the men she’s slept with. The book is apparently called the Manhattan Telephone Directory.
If we stopped calling it profiling and started calling it “proactive intelligence screening” or “high alert detecting”, people would be saying “Well, it’s about time”.
You know, if you’re an American and you’re born at this time in history especially, you’re lucky. We all are. We won the world history Powerball lottery.
I have such disdain for anybody who gets joy out of blowing the stuffing out of a little woodland creature, that I don’t really care if any of them gets shot.
The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They’re supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
Now, I’m no doctor, but I am on TV. And in my professional opinion, George Bush is a paranoid schizophrenic.
We’re always on a tightrope. We’re trying to put together people who don’t make sense to be together, talking about issues that are sensitive and controversial. We’re mixing dangerous chemicals on a nightly basis.
I am so tired of rearranging my life around what the stupidest people might do.
Government – they used to teach it in college. It’s actually something you should study and learn and know how to do. The Republicans always run on the idea that government isn’t very effective. Well, not the way you do it. But it can be effective.
My wife always has a splitting archetype whenever I want to have sex.
African American Congressman Bobby Rush wore a hoodie on the floor of Congress to make a point this week. And they threw him out. They said a hoodie is too scary for Congress. Too scary? Have you ever looked into Michele Bachmann’s eyes?
In this country, a smart leader is suspect. That’s just the way it is. Even George Bush’s father, who was a lot smarter than the son, had to sort of prove that he wasn’t that bright.