There are two kinds of people in this world, and I am one of them.
Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really.
Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.
Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.
Sign outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques.
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
Proofread carefully to see if you left any words out.
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
Murphy’s golden rule: Whoever has the gold, makes the rules.
People in the computer industry use the term ‘user,’ which to them means ‘idiot.’
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.
Roy Blount, who is the funniest person I know, journeys deep into the dark heart of humor and brings back a wonderfully insightful, superbly crafted song of the soul that had me laughing and crying too.
Too many rocks in the mountains.
Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights.
The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.
Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.
Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spiderwebs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.
Dinner Special – Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.