Congress shall also create a tax code weighing more than the combined poundage of the largest member of the House and the largest member of the Senate, plus a standard musk ox.
A full-grown manatee, which can weigh more than 1,000 pounds, looks like the result of a genetic experiment involving a walrus and the Goodyear Blimp.
Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.
The letters in ‘Brace Beemer’ can be arranged to spell ‘Embrace Beer.’
Please try not to be such a wiener-head.
My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness.
Infiniti ads are part of an exciting new trend called “Advertising Whose Sole Purpose Is to Irritate You.”
Today’s toys contain computer chips, so they can move and talk; this stimulates the mind of your child. Notice I say “your child.” MY child just wants to eat the toys.
My point here, young couples, is that baby-having is extremely serious business, and you probably don’t have the vaguest idea what you’re doing, as is evidenced by the fact that you’re reading a very sloppy and poorly researched book.
You know how on the evening news they always tell you that the stock market is up in active trading, or off in moderate trading, or trading in mixed activity, or whatever. Well, who gives a.
First, a few words about this title. It isn’t easy, coming up with book titles. A lot of the really good ones are taken. Thin Thighs in 30 Days, for example. Also The Bible.
Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.
Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.
Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness.
Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations.
And now, the Superstore – unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
Sign at a New England church: Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished?
Sign at a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.