The places where trails do not exist are not well marked.
Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.
I can’t recall a story that played out exactly as I’d expected it to. That’s one of the thrills of journalism – being surprised, and learning new stuff, but it also poses the biggest challenge to a writer’s character.
What was life like in the colonies? Probably the best word to describe it would be “colonial”.
Lobsters displays all three of the classic biological characteristics of an insect, namely: 1. It has way more legs than necessary. 2. There is no way you would ever pet it. 3. It does not respond to simple commands such as “Here, boy!”
You have to be careful on the deck, because of the “hatches,” which are holes placed around a sailboat at random to increase the insurance rates.
He’s a boating enthusiast, although that phrase seems too weak to describe the level of his interest, kind of like describing someone as a heroin fancier.
Humor is an escape, because you cannot think about your problems when you are trying to be funny; so, in essence, “being a humorist” gives you a valid excuse to hide from your pain.
Fortunately the boat we rented had a motor in it You will definitely want this feature on your sailboat too, because if you put up the sails, the boat tips way over, and you could spill your beer.
It was not easy victory in the America Cup. Our boys spent years experimenting with different designs for their boat before they came up with the innovative idea of having a submerged nuclear submarine tow it.
It takes a minimum of six people, working in close harmony, to successfully flush a nautical toilet. That’s why those old ships carried such large crews.
Recently I began to feel this void in my life, even after meals, and I said to myself, “Dave, all you do with your spare time is sit around and drink beer. You need a hobby.” So I got a hobby. I make beer.
Miami, you can never run out of material. As long as you have Miami around you, you will never, never stop being amused.
Washington is nicknamed “The Evergreen State” because it sounds better than “The Incessant Nagging Drizzle State.”
I want to gag sometimes when I see who “we” are recommending that people vote for, and not just as a libertarian.
I’m a big believer in anesthesia. I think it should be used for every medical procedure, indlucing routine physicals.
In South Florida, we have industrial cockroaches that have to be equipped with loud warning beepers so you can get out of their way when they back up.
I have a friend named Doris who argues, on good authority, that the single biggest cause of global warming is menopause.
The way this country deals with drugs is just not funny. What a waste of everyone’s time and effort. What a waste of a lot of people’s lives.
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary to what you may have heard, the Internet does not operate at the speed of light; it operates at the speed of the DMV.