Megahertz: This is really, really big hertz.
Many things have been written, including by me, linking humor and pain. Mostly, in my case, the humor part keeps me sane. If I spent all my hours writing things like “Fatal Distraction,” I’d become a brooding, erratic melancholic. I’d be Raskolnikov.
If you want to give a man something practical, consider tires. More than once, I would have gladly traded all the gifts I got for a new set of tires.
Dogs do not grasp the concept of house cleaning.
Another important rule of affair-having: Never be discreet at the office.
As sensitive and broad-minded humans, we must never allow ourselves to be in any way judgmental of the religious practices of other people, even when these people clearly are raving space loons.
I’m happy to start on one topic and end on another one entirely, as long as it’s funny.
Each year, millions of skiers come to Colorado to experience its superb emergency medical facilities.
Your job is to give people a reason to keep reading.
I also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of being left behind, spending hundreds of millions of dollars to develop World Wide Web sites in a frantic scramble to reach the vast new consumer market of Web use.
People – just weird people are attracted to Miami. And they come there not for serious reasons, usually.
Nobody in the United States knows what either a “meter” or a “kilogram” is. The whole reason why we fought the Cold War was so we wouldn’t have to learn the metric system.
The Republicans have a high Beady-Eyed Self-Righteous Scary Borderline Loon Quotient, as evidenced by Phyllis Schlafly, Pat Robertson, the entire state of Utah, etc.
When I’m writing columns, it’s – all I’m thinking about is jokes, joke, joke, joke, setup, punch line, joke, joke, joke. And I really don’t care where it goes.
RAM: This gives guys a way of deciding whose computer has the biggest, studliest memory. That’s important, because the more memory a computer has, the faster it can produce error messages.
Avoid the traffic by using one of the park’s shuttle buses and view the elk rut with a park ranger.
I can snap your spine like a toothpick.
Basically Ken is a very gentle, home-loving person. I remember when one of his stick insects had a knee infection. He stayed up all night rubbing it with germoline and banging its head on the table.
Like all writers, my greatest inspiration, my ultimate muse, is a deadline.
I took an estimated two thousand years of high school French, and when I finally got to France, I discovered that I didn’t know one single phrase that was actually useful in a real-life French situation.