I couldn’t imagine living the way I used to live. Now people come up to me from the drug days and go, ‘Hi, remember me?’ And I’m going, ‘No, did I have sex with you? Did I take a dump in your tool box?’
I had to stop drinking alcohol because I used to wake up nude in front of my car with my keys in my ass.
I feel like I’m a big human snot.
Terrible wars have been fought where millions have died for one idea – freedom. And it seems that something that means so much to so many people would be worth having.
Gradual school is where you go to school and you gradually find out you don’t want to go to school anymore.
In California, we are a sixty percent Hispanic state, we elected an Austrian governor. Even old Nazis are going That’s weird.
I’ve never had a “hankering” to direct. I can perform, but I can’t write on that level. I tend to go off on tangents. Directing also requires a kind of specificity and I don’t have it.
Whenever a big white man picks up a banjo, my cheeks tighten.
You have an internal critic, an internal drive that says, ‘OK, you can do more.’ Maybe that’s what keeps you going.
Shooting in New York is the shiznit, if I may be so bold. It was great. New York is a character. People who live here know that.
You don’t need cocaine! There’s another way to get real high, and really mess your mind up, it’s called marathon running!
A place where we all go can’t be bad.
Along with the Oscars, the Academy is giving out a green card.
If you’re going to do a movie about the Village, it’s pretty nice to shoot in the village and not be in Toronto.
When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker.
Make your life spectacular, I know I did.
Being a famous print journalist is like being the best-dressed woman on radio.
Come on now! You kick out the gooks, the next thing you know, you have to kick out the chinks, the spicks, the spooks, the kikes and all that’s going to be left is a couple of brain-dead rednecks.
My comedy is like emotional hang-gliding.
On stage you’re free. You can say and do things that if you said and did any place else, you’d be arrested.