Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don’t get it.
In a lot of ways, success is much harder than I thought it would be. I figured that you’d get here and then everything would be happily ever after. But, it’s hard work, almost harder once you’re successful because you’ve got to maintain it.
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I’m good, she’ll give me the other one next year.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
I’m seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There’s no black and white to it. But sometimes I’m seeing it like I’m 4.
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she’s 6. While both criminal, they’re very different circumstances.
Do fish get cramps after eating?
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.
Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?
If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.