To always trust my instincts, to always believe I have something to offer – no matter how meaningless or stupid it may be – and to never listen to anyone who tells you ‘no.’
We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it’s Tuesday I’ll make an exception.
I’ve always been exactly who I am on TV. I’m not playing a role.
I have more respect for somebody who’s like, ‘Yeah I like to party, so screw off,’ then for Tara, who talks about not partying and ends up passed out underneath a Subway, not a subway station, but the actual sandwich shop – two days later.
If you do talk dirty, make sure that you enunciate because there’s nothing more embarrassing than having to repeat yourself.
You don’t mess with janitors, first of all, they have like 40 keys, and 1 is to a closet you don’t want to be inside of.
If you wait too long in Vegas, you end up with a chicken finger in your underwear.
It always freaks me out when I go to a sushi place and there’s a Mexican.
I try to not overthink anything. I don’t understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have breasts we can’t show them?
The only thing worse than dating a single mom is dating a single mom that won’t put out.
Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn’t be telling their wife about it.
There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.
Mexico’s a great place to overcome a drug addiction.
I think it’s important to be involved with charities that don’t necessarily reflect what you’re dealing with in your life.
I can’t be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.
But then, like George Michael in a men’s bathroom, I got cocky.
That’s Al Qaeda’s new plan: to destroy America one period at a time.
There’s tons of information on the Internet, so if you type in cancer, they’ll give you 15, 000 different options to get involved with cancer. It’s very easy to get involved if you want to get involved, especially to volunteer your time.
The last time a straight man worked in the fashion industry, we got a fanny pack.
Obviously its nice to give your time and especially when there is money being raised. It’s rewarding.