With great power... comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.
What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.
Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.
In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.
Showing up is 80 percent of life.
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’
There’s no experience like on-the-job training.
I write only when inspiration strikes. Fortunately it strikes every morning at nine o’clock sharp.
Once you have a PhD, every meeting you go to becomes a doctor’s appointment.
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
If you can laugh together, you can work together.
Parkinson’s First Law: Work expands to fill the time available.
A computer is like air conditioning – it becomes useless when you open Windows.
Backups are for wimps. Real men upload their data to an FTP site and have everyone else mirror it.
When you say ‘I wrote a program that crashed Windows,’ people just stare at you blankly and say ‘Hey, I got those with the system, for free.’
Nobody actually creates perfect code the first time around, except me. But there’s only one of me.
I’m just here so I won’t get fined.
They don’t think it is like it is, but it is.
Project management is the art of creating the illusion that any outcome is the result of a series of predetermined, deliberate acts when, in fact, it was dumb luck.
Go have fun and make money.