Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I am not yet completely sure about the universe.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Life’s hard. It’s even harder when you’re stupid.
There are no good girls gone wrong, just bad girls found out.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn’t brood. I’d type a little faster.