The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
Having fun is a very particular skill. And not everyone has that skill.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
Most women set out to try to change a man, and when they have changed him they do not like him.
Learn to laugh at your problems, cause everybody else does.
I think I’m like wine. The older I get, the better I get.
Arsene Wenger asked me to have a trial with Arsenal when I was 17. I turned it down. Zlatan doesn’t do auditions.
To some, it’s Hump Day. To us, it’s Wednesday getting its ass kicked and Thursday just asked Friday to switch places.
It doesn’t matter what your name is!
We’ve all got weaknesses. Me, for instance. I’m tragically funny and good-looking.
Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.
The prettiest dresses are worn to be taken off.
I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent.
Nietzsche famously said, ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’ What he failed to stress is that it ALMOST kills you.
If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.