Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything.
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.
In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Little things affect little minds.
The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don’t have to waste your time voting.
You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.
Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.
Government is the Entertainment division of the military-industrial complex.
If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.
Shut Up and Play your Guitar.
He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.
Better never than late.
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
My religion? Well, my dear, I am a Millionaire. That is my religion.
Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.
The planet isn’t going anywhere. We are.
War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.
The secret of a successful restaurant is sharp knives.