Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.
Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.
If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.
Whisky is liquid sunshine.
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.
I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.
Science is magic that works.
Real gs move in silence like lasagna.
No one has ever drowned in sweat.
To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
I was educated once – it took me years to get over it.
There is no ‘i’ in team but there is in win.
For your own safety, do not ever tell an astrophysicist, I hope all your stars are twinkling.
When people ask me if I went to film school I tell them, ‘no, I went to films.’
If you want milk, don’t sit on a stool in the middle of a field in the hope that a cow will back up to you.
We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it.